Late Of The Pier : Glasgow Barfly

I’m not certain what I witnessed tonight, unparalleled pretentious bullshit is probably the most succinct description. But let’s put that to one side for a minute and aim for a less emotive recap of the gig if we can.

The Displacements are four rather smartly dressed young boys from Leicester and totally inoffensive & forgettable tonight. The empty room and Glasgow’s often surprising apathy for bands touted as “Ones To Watch” leave them fighting a losing battle during much of their stage time. It ends up as a fine, by-the-numbers jaunt through 2008 indie trends but the scene kids just aren’t there to listen so it all feels like wasted effort from the band.

And talking of wasted time, we come to Late Of The Pier‘s set. Now don’t get me wrong, I was unbiased when I turned up, I liked & grew to enjoy their single The Bears Are Coming, the follow up & most recent release Bathroom Gurgle I’d tentatively filed under “nae to bad”. I ignored the reports of the band acting like wankers on T4′s Green Room and didn’t take any notice when the venue staff rolled eyes with a story of the ridiculous rider asked for by a band at this level. I was unconcerned, the band are hotly tipped for big things, this could be a gig to list in future years, “I saw them when…”

Gods was I wrong. Disbelief at the utter, utter festering shite I was being subjected to kept me going through the first few minutes, commitment to myself to work taking photos and to write a fair review kept me going for while longer. But all too quickly the bands superior better-than-thou attitude had removed from me any desire to give their music a chance. From what I took note of before giving up, the guitars are for fashion rather than playing, the synths would be better in the hands of three year olds or Ross from Friends and the tunes barely deserve to be recognised as music.

Late of the Pier are like a really bad movie that you’re meant to laugh at because it’s so bad. Except it’s so bad that it isn’t even funny, no matter how wasted you could get. The only enjoyment is the self-conscious laughter at ourselves, to hide the embarrassment that someone out there has played such a joke and managed to fool anyone into thinking that this is a real worthwhile band. Their attitude throughout was so overpoweringly superior and self-important that I seriously considered the ethics of whether they were worth the time spent on reviewing them.

So I left. It’s ill-mannered, rude and unprofessional but I left halfway through, and felt relieved when I did. So Late of the Pier end up with an accolade after all, they are the first and only band I have committed to review that have been so unremittingly awful that they’ve driven me to go home and watch BBC’s Sign Zone instead.

[flickr tags='displacements,lateofthepier']

Zombina And The Skeletones : Glasgow Barfly

Zombina And The Skeletones is just the sort of band name to conjure up a cheesy faux-fifties horror movie psychobilly gig and the last time I saw them play at the Glasgow Barfly they shared the stage with the fake blood & gut’s of Karloff and the aptly named Groovie Ghoulies. Could Zombina hold their own as headliners on a non-themed bill?

Openers for the night, Crossfire sounded good right up until they started shouting. Punk vocals have never had a reputation for subtle beauty but some semblance of singing is still required rather than getting the words out as loud as you can. It’s a pretty tight performance though but I’m left a little disappointed, it’s what I would hope from my punk bands when they’re in the studio, on stage I want more attitude, more fuck you, more drunken inability to play instruments and to feel that the bassist is gonna kick my head in if I write a bad review or at least spit on me if I look at him funny. It’s punk, in fact it’s good punk – with a skinhead ska tune thrown in for good measure – but it feels very safe.

The Retrofrets do their best to dodge my genre pigeon-holes, the male vocalist has some nice high-heeled boots and the female lead guitar wears a boys shirt & tie but this playing with gender fashion stereotypes has nothing to do with their music so lets not mention it at all. They’re good, playing a blues song, a jazz tinged number, an indie ballad number and some rock, and some more rock. One set doesn’t feel like enough to get to know them though and it’s noted to look out for their next local gig. However they lose a few cool points by committing the incredible faux-pas of sideswiping their headliners by encouraging their audience to head upstairs to hear the Bitchfits, luckily through chance or sensible planning Zombina hold back their stage time until folk filter back downstairs.

And Zombina are well, they’re Zombina and the Skeletones. Describing Zombina as psychobilly is a misnomer, more bubblegum-punk than psycho and much more doo-wop than rockabilly or any other -billy in fact. Neither are the band horror-punk, they’re far too cute and playfully tongue-in-cheek. Singing rock n roll love songs about teenagers who, purely incidentally, may yearn longingly after evil scientists, have psychopathic killing tendencies or who may indeed be dead (or undead, obviously). The set is pure rock n roll fun, full of favourites, full of songs catchy enough to pick up by the second chorus even if you’ve never heard them before. All that undead zombie blood & make-up and cross-boned skull on the bass drum can be ignored and there’s still a good time party band that would entertain anyone, Yes, they’d even make even the dead get up and dance.
There I said it, I like the sixties sci-fi and b-movie horror theme, I like that Zombina gigs are an excuse for dressing up in antique top hats and skeleton tights. But what I like most is that there is no need, the band are good, the tunes are excellent, their gigs are never a disappointment.

[flickr tag=zombina]

Royal Treatment Plant – Get Played

The debut single from Royal Treatment Plant ahead of the release of mini-album Hope Is Not Enough, Get Played starts out as a good rocking tune with added 80′s style synth. And it manages to jog along all good and well enough with preacher’s daughter PP providing fine femme-rock vocals but the whole thing is just slightly too art-rock for those of us not “privileged” enough to live in London, attend an Art School or frequent Glasgow’s Merchant City cool bars. Plenty of style but just not enough substance in the foundations yet, think Russell Brand’s “China… China…? Are you in Tibet? GET OUT!!!” radio references – the intention and idea is good, it just somehow loses significance somewhere amongst the posturing.

Look See Proof – Do You Think It’s Right

Look See Proof are a slow burning band from Hertfordshire, steadily increasing their fan base and word of mouth about their music over the past year. Each of their first three singles gaining the band more and more exposure via MTV2, Steve Lamacq on Radio One and even Jonathan Ross on Radio Two.

Do You Think It’s Right? is surely destined for repeat outings on many indie & alternative club night dance floors – it’s upbeat choppy guitars and layered vocals providing a pleasantly danceable tune for the mainstream trend follower indie kids as well as those more discerning about the quality of their indie credentials. Backed with the chunkier electro-tinged Don’t Say A Word and the Os Darkroom Remix of Casualty it’s a fine fourth single to tide interest over until the release of their debut album later this year in June.
[flickr tag=lookseeproof maximgs=3 user=any]

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