Stone Gods – Burn The Witch EP

Stone Gods - Burn The Witch

Stone Gods - Burn The Witch

Burn The Witch is like the bastard child of Iron Maiden and AC/DC which means if you’re still reading this you’ve more than likely worn your hair long & greasy, cut the sleeves off a band t-shirt, combined leather & denim in obscene ways and chosen partners based only on how slutty they’ll look standing next to you impressing your mates – so let’s talk ROCK.

The lead tracks stands out as well suited for grabbing your attention by the balls to ensure you listen to the rest of the EP. You Brought A Knife To A Gunfight then throws Motley Crue into a pit with Skid Row and a thousand weekend rockers with too tight trousers and hairbrush mics, it even has a “Fuck You” chorus making it almost impossible for the true Rocker to dislike it.

Thin Lizzy get their chance next as the over-whelming influence on Breakdown and then we wind down to a too soon end with the obligatory lighter-in-the-air ballad of Heartburn. Stone Gods galloping through every genre of hard & heavy rock they can in four songs possibly just to prove that they aren’t The Darkness any longer. The guitar solo’s even almost manage that neat trick of reaching inside you, tieing your guts around the E-string and ripping them out as the riffs soar onwards to that last power chord. Almost but not quite, give me a few jacks & marlboro, turn it up to eleven and I’m sure I’ll be standing there arm raised high ready to crash down on that air guitar as I scream into the night…

Burn The Witch is a damned fine debut EP, there’s nothing new here, but there doesn’t really have to be in this genre, all that’s required is that you do it well and strike the right pose with the right attitude as you do so. Stone Gods manage to tick all the boxes needed to land squarely in Fucking Great Rock Band territory.
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The Ominous – Out Of Order EP

I’m probably slightly drunk and slightly concussed after visiting the Cathouse for “just the one” at midnight. At 3am I’m bloody, bruised and talking to some guy handing out free CDRs from his band. More than likely I’m talking nonsense about promising to review it for him.

It’s the next day and such conversations don’t count. This is rule number one of any night out involving alcohol—promises made simply do not count the next day. But I’m intrigued: is the CD any good, is it a musical masterpiece or is it laughably awful? Let’s throw the CD on, give it a listen and find out.

Opener Hey! I’m Sick starts the game with a pleasant enough bass and drum intro and takes us on a journey into pleasant call & return punk “Hey!” territory. It’s nothing outstanding but is gonna be kept in my playlist as I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s a grower.

Three Minute Warning and Contradiction are more of the same: perfectly fine local band fare. Each song seems to be rather too similar to the others; all feel too long to me, ending up sounding as though the band are bored and just plodding along to pass the time. Speeding it up or shortening it down would help. Embrace punk’s brevity and then despair when you need twice as many songs to fill a 45-minute set.

There’s nothing here leaping out at me to offer band management skills in exchange for a cut of future royalties, but I’m also not skipping the tracks or running screaming to throw the CD in the incinerator. I’m not even filing it in the coffee-cup-coaster pile. It’s a fine enough debut demo for the band. Experience and time will hopefully improve them leaps and bounds.

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