Albert Hammond Jr & The Pierces – Glasgow ABC 2

The Pierces are two sisters from the deep south living in New York. Catherine, currently engaged to our headliner for tonight (just an aside for you celeb gossip type folks) and Allison have been both been blessed with above average looks, pleasing stage personalities and luckily—most importantly—they can sing.

Opening with a Celtic duet which I’d like to think was rolled out especially for Scotland, The Pierces manage to be very laid back in front of their first Glasgow audience with Catherine taking the lead mostly and Allison seeming just that bit nervy or quieter. Very soon it becomes apparent that the airy pop production on some of their recorded material and the precisely styled image of promo pics & videos isn’t what these lassies are really about. Third track Lights On pumps the live electric bass at me so strongly I forget this is the tune we’d listed as least favourite and too singalong poppy fluff while listening before the show. It’s not just the bass that’s been turned up either, with Catherine using her lungs to full advantage to make sure everyone was sitting up and taking notice. Two songs later and Go To Heaven gives Allison her turn to turn on the vocals and let us know that she’s just as strong as her sister, although the quieter moments of the song are blighted by the ABC 2’s acoustics favouring those idiots holding conversations at the back rather than the stage PA.

The set ranges across a wealth of influences with at one point the hookline of “cross my heart and hope to die” floating over a tune that started out as Celtic, veered into French burlesque cabaret and kept time throughout with gypsy beats. Boring can only properly be described as a tongue-in-cheek Shirley Bassey Bond theme and Sticks and Stones closes their time on stage with a rousing, foot-stomping number that has much of the crowd clapping along.

Of course most of the crowd were there to see Mr. Albert Hammond Jr., normally of The Strokes & scene-cool indie rock legend, and the reaction to the indie-rocking chiming guitar intro reveals that. The set however doesn’t quite suit me: each song the band plays has a great intro and a hook hanging around in it somewhere, but too often they sound overly familiar to me. I spend my time entertaining hopes of this one being a goodie and lifting me onto a gig high, but I’m always dropped back by the end of the first verse. Everything seems alright and I’m sure if they left behind the wavy fingered keyboardist and visited on a drunken weekend night then I’d be cheering on the crazy-eyed rockiness along with the die-hard fans and shouting for a Strokes song with the rest of the crowd. Tonight I’m content to enjoy the insight that sometimes, just sometimes going solo reveals an artist to have left behind an important part of what made them good.

Robots In Disguise, Scunner + Dirty Pirate – Glasgow Barfly

Three rather indescribable bands tonight. Which is admittedly not the most promising thought to hit on when starting to write a review, but how else to cover electro-karaoke, candy fags and crowd-surfing silver capes?!

Dirty Pirate start us off tonight as the most unpromising looking act ever. Two guys, one microphone and minimal mixing kit sitting on an old beer crate. They sound like a wedding cabaret DJ from the arse end of disco era 70s, but then your ear realises there’s some genius in there, somewhere. It’s not there all the time but as the hook lyrics of All Yr Secrets morph seamlessly and wonderfully into Abba and back again, I’m regretting my cynical non-attention earlier in the set. This final song of epic Electro-Karaoke greatness is even enough to overcome my foul “I was stood up, grrr” mood and I whoop in appreciation far more loudly than any sober person should for such nonsense.

Scunner I love, let’s get that out of the way now—I was never going to not enjoy this set from them. Strangely though, it’s the largest stage I’ve ever seen them perform on and it almost threatens to confine frontman Paul Puppet for the first couple of songs. Or maybe it’s just spilling his pint that keeps him less exuberantly extrovert than usual. Don’t get me wrong, though, as far as vocalist performers go he hardly misses a note and never misses a trick, so by the end we have a feather duster & cigarette sweets thrown into the audience and an umbrella trashed on stage. That may sound like a bizarre take on the “TV out window” or drumkit levelling stereotypical Rock antics and that’s exactly what Scunner are: a bizarre take on themselves. The drumming is beautifully unadorned and almost Violent Femme-esque, and, depending on song the guitar or keyboard carries the melodies just as simply and just as perfectly—I warned you I loved these guys didn’t I? But I’m back to that “indescribable” label now though, so let’s invent a Muppet-Punk genre for Scunner to live in all on their own, the live sound more raw than recorded tracks currently available.

They’ve disappointed me on one thing tonight; they never played my favourite track Drip Static. For a band at this level to play a half hour set with never a dud moment and still have good songs in reserve is a rare thing indeed—is it bad etiquette to call for an encore before the headliners appear?

Even before they reach the stage Robots in Disguise have the crowd going wild for them and by the time they march on stage with whistles blowing and capes flying it’s obvious they have some serious fans here tonight. But I’m a first timer they’re starting from scratch with, and to be honest, the music is all good and fine with DJ’s Got A Gun being a stand out brilliant electro-pop track but much of the hysteria seems artificially created to me. Half the set is spent with the band, or the mic stands, or stage equipment in the audience, and the crowd do absolutely love it but I’m too remote even just at the side of the stage to appreciate the fenzy. I want so much to love RiD for their act & performance but I’m left simply liking and enjoying the full on energy they bring to the set—I know it will be a long time before I see another band crowd surf and then sing from upon shoulders of an audience member at the Glasgow barfly!

I failed to love Robots in Disguise, I only liked and enjoyed them, tonight that put me firmly in the minority.

65daysofstatic, The Morning After Girls, Disco Ensemble

“So your job is to go to gigs and watch bands for free? That must be great!”
Well yes, mostly it can be fun. But not tonight.

Having to run through a list of possible names that PR bods may have stuck you under at the door is never fun, and finding that we aren’t actually listed as promised is downright insulting. But I’m not beaten so easily and I pay myself in. I kinda grudge paying twice as much as is reasonable for tonight’s lineup but I blame the Kerrang sponsors for that. However, insult is added to injury when I’m asked “Where’d your friend go?”, and spot the implication was that after not being guest-listed Mr. Potatojunkie had snuck in for free …

First band on tonight are Disco Ensemble, and I’ve said it before but boy are they emo. It’s outright by-the-numbers emo, and it really does pain me to admit that they are fucking good at it. The sound let them down a bit though and took just enough edge off the performance for some of the songs to be disappointingly lacklustre.

The Morning After Girls follow on stage and will have to be really impressive to overcome the bad impression made by inept PR at the door. They resoundingly fail to do so. The Beatles when they first started taking too much acid is not the best thing to try and update into modern emo-times; it can work if done in a kitsch-pop way, but I’m not certain at all where this band were meant to be going or where they were coming from. The polka-dot-dressed tambourine percussion keyboardist lass was kinda hot though, but I’m really not certain if that should be the highlight of any live gig.

65daysofstatic. Ahhh, now these guys have to overcome the bad feeling left by their management not returning my calls after offering an interview. I think I missed the start of their set due to not noticing when the intro tape stopped and they started playing stuff themselves. Oh, three minute pop-punk songs, where were you tonight? Interminably drawn-out instrumentals bore me to tears but the Barfly crowd are loving it. I reckon the Barfly crowd maybe need to get out to go see some good bands play gigs a bit more often rather than simply cheer for the folks Kerrang & the NME tell them to.

Overall this gig was scene bands playing to an overly scene crowd—I expect every emo ’zine in the country will be running a piece on the gig judging by the number of pseudo-professional cameras and notebooks I saw flashed around the place. Oh Kerrang, when did it all go wrong? When did you forget about rock and start sponsoring NME band tours?

Oh, and the beer tasted just like piss. Can I get my money back please … ?

Trashlight Vision, In So Far + The Poisoning – Glasgow Barfly

Glasgow barfly on a December Sunday night and to be honest I didn’t want to be here. I felt old – so, so old. It’s a 14+ gig and just some nights the age you feel is the age your aching muscles feel no matter how young the lass standing next to you is…and I’m sore and still hungover from gods know what I did on Friday night. I’d rather a quiet rocking chair than the prospect of loud music tonight…

And I’m worried. The Poisoning are the first band and contrary to every other time I’ve seen them, they have no fake blood make-up and far fewer clothes on.
But this is The Poisoning, the band. And well, if you were right down the front you kinda missed half the performance. Some opening support bands will waste their energy on asking politely for the crowd to move forward a bit to create atmosphere. Not these guys, any space you leave them is soon filled: this band goes to the crowd. And I’m glad I had a buffer of young teenage girls in front of me – singers I can usually cope with but fuck me that guitarist has scary eyes when he wants and I don’t have my camera to stare back with…!

During their third song tonight the person next to me turns round and announces “I have a new favourite band!”, and aye, tonight they had me offering them my first born in praise & worship. I’m assured by folk who listen more than I do that they manage to play the goth horror punk style just as well as they pose to it.

Next up, In So Far inevitebly had to play the worst slot of the night, following such a great local opener but not being the known headline band will always be tricky. And that’s what they managed to do, they played that fill in set, as much as I loved the lowest slung bass ever and the lead singer’s enthusiasm, they never quite managed to win enough of the crowd to impress and my ears only heard some vaguely generic rock sounds, on another day I may have been easier to please, but not tonight. I went to the bar and I bought a drink.

Trashlight Vision did me kinda proud though, they managed to play almost a Stadium Rock show in exactly the sort of venue I remember that whole sound growing from. Probably very few folk there other than me & Acey Slade, who yeah, was acting just like he could have been headlining Donnigton in ’91, nobody else would have understood if I’d said “a real original Cathouse show”, sleaze rock, cock rock, whatever rock, even with the lack of pole dancers it still made me yearn for sleazy stripper infested dives that I’ve only seen in Crue videos. But I was happy enjoying the set as such – they even managed to play a Guns N’ Roses cover without me being up in arms at the travesty of it all, there’s not many bands I would forgive that liberty!

Trashlight could have won me over compeltely but then they started up with 1st Fright and well… I tried my best to jot down some sensible notes of what to tell you guys about the gig but when I look at them now all I see is an A4 piece of paper with “THE POISONING – stage invasion – WIN~!!” written on it.

In So Far did their best, Trashlight Vision played a fine headline set.

But The Poisoning – they won.

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